Russell was one of the boys
who spent some time in this dreadful place!!!
who spent some time in this dreadful place!!!
Showing posts with label abuse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label abuse. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Saturday, May 14, 2011
About Russell On His 70th Birthday
This is NOT how I had been planning on celebrating Russell's birthday. Hopefully, I'll soon be able to celebrate this very special milestone in his life (turning 70) the way I had planned to--with him online again.
If you live in the San Diego area and know something about Russell's whereabouts these days, please send me a message on Facebook. Here is a link to my profile page.
Let me explain. Russell was having some personal and health issues (as in being given some medicine that seemed to be having bad side-effects).
All at once, I began to hear the news that he had been taken somewhere else but nobody seemed to be at liberty to tell me just where.
I'm not going to go into a lot of details here, as I only have some limited information that Russell told me about such as getting the same medication that he had been taking for years through another (supposedly legitimate) source. He had also been prescribed some inappropriate medication (I believe, having to do with his blood-pressure) by the same place. He began to hear horror stories by other area seniors and got suspicious.
Anyway, I'm not going to say anymore here at this point, as having--and using--a small amount of information in a factual way can prove to do more harm than good.
There are people out there who have more experience and knowledge than I do, and, hopefully, at least some of the people reading this would fall under this category.
Please help if you know how!!! To anyone reading this, please keep Russell in your prayers!!!
Until he's able to get online once more (or is able to get in touch with somebody who can) and get things straightened out, the activities of IYN headquarters in San Diego have had to be put on hold.
However, any people who are part of various IYN chapters or those who want to get involved in our mission should keep on doing what you're doing or want to do.
In San Diego (and its surrounding area) alone, there are thousands of street youth, and they need to be helped!!!
First off, here's what they don't need:
1. They don't need to be rounded up and taken to juvenile hall (or something similar) and told that they will not be released until they give their real names and how to contact their parents and/or other responsible people in their hometowns. They have gone through a whole lot to get away from there, because they have reason to believe that what is back in their old lives is a bad environment. There are very few cases of kids just leaving home for the lark of it. They are generally leaving behind abusive situations, whether those situations are bullying at school that nobody seems to be able or willing to make stop or physical/verbal/emotional/sexual abuse going on right in their own homes.
2. They don't need the kind of boot-camp atmosphere that, unfortunately, seems to have become so common these days. Leave them right where they are before doing this kind of thing to them!
3. They don't need to be taken in by people with motives that are less than stellar (e.g. people wanting sexual playthings and/or slave labor at their ready).
What they do need is a growing number of people who are willing to go out to talk to them--and truly listen to what they have to say!
They also need things like food cards for places like McDonald's, phone cards (that will work with pay phones, as they rarely if ever have cell phones), personal care items (e.g. toothbrushes, toothpaste, deodorant, sanitary napkins, shampoo, combs, brushes, nail clippers, etc.), clothing (outer wear, underwear, shoes, socks, etc.), knapsacks, wallets, notebooks, pens.
They need social interaction without strings (e.g. must go to a certain church on a regular basis; must come to live in a certain home or shelter whether ready to or not) such as cook-outs, trips to pizza parlors, holiday celebration gatherings, etc.
For those young people who are tired of living out in the elements, we need families who will take them in and treat them like visiting cousins. One church in particular has been organizing something like this with a lot of success.
As soon as we have the funding for it, one of our dreams is to create places like camps and ranches where our young people can live safely and with respect (We, obviously, have zero tolerance for the boot-camp kind of experience, even though we also have some rules such as ones concerning fighting and substance abuse) while taking whatever amount of time they need to get back into the mainstream.
Obviously, IYN is unable to pursue this kind of project at this time, but the other kinds of things mentioned above ARE things that we can do now.
Russell has invested both time and money into our kids for many years, but there is only one of him.
A couple of the most wonderful birthday presents that you could give to him at this time is to increase the number of those who are active in helping our kids and to, if you're able, help him to get back into a situation where he can, once more, direct the happenings of IYN and doing what he was planning on doing right before this situation happened: handpicking reliable and caring people to share various responsibilities that he was once doing on his own, because he realizes that he can't do it all--and that he also must be prepared for the unexpected such as what has happened to him now.
Please keep Russell in your prayers, love, and positive thoughts--and, if you have any information on him, please contact me!
Let me explain. Russell was having some personal and health issues (as in being given some medicine that seemed to be having bad side-effects).
All at once, I began to hear the news that he had been taken somewhere else but nobody seemed to be at liberty to tell me just where.
I'm not going to go into a lot of details here, as I only have some limited information that Russell told me about such as getting the same medication that he had been taking for years through another (supposedly legitimate) source. He had also been prescribed some inappropriate medication (I believe, having to do with his blood-pressure) by the same place. He began to hear horror stories by other area seniors and got suspicious.
Anyway, I'm not going to say anymore here at this point, as having--and using--a small amount of information in a factual way can prove to do more harm than good.
There are people out there who have more experience and knowledge than I do, and, hopefully, at least some of the people reading this would fall under this category.
Please help if you know how!!! To anyone reading this, please keep Russell in your prayers!!!
Until he's able to get online once more (or is able to get in touch with somebody who can) and get things straightened out, the activities of IYN headquarters in San Diego have had to be put on hold.
However, any people who are part of various IYN chapters or those who want to get involved in our mission should keep on doing what you're doing or want to do.
In San Diego (and its surrounding area) alone, there are thousands of street youth, and they need to be helped!!!
First off, here's what they don't need:
1. They don't need to be rounded up and taken to juvenile hall (or something similar) and told that they will not be released until they give their real names and how to contact their parents and/or other responsible people in their hometowns. They have gone through a whole lot to get away from there, because they have reason to believe that what is back in their old lives is a bad environment. There are very few cases of kids just leaving home for the lark of it. They are generally leaving behind abusive situations, whether those situations are bullying at school that nobody seems to be able or willing to make stop or physical/verbal/emotional/sexual abuse going on right in their own homes.
2. They don't need the kind of boot-camp atmosphere that, unfortunately, seems to have become so common these days. Leave them right where they are before doing this kind of thing to them!
3. They don't need to be taken in by people with motives that are less than stellar (e.g. people wanting sexual playthings and/or slave labor at their ready).
What they do need is a growing number of people who are willing to go out to talk to them--and truly listen to what they have to say!
They also need things like food cards for places like McDonald's, phone cards (that will work with pay phones, as they rarely if ever have cell phones), personal care items (e.g. toothbrushes, toothpaste, deodorant, sanitary napkins, shampoo, combs, brushes, nail clippers, etc.), clothing (outer wear, underwear, shoes, socks, etc.), knapsacks, wallets, notebooks, pens.
They need social interaction without strings (e.g. must go to a certain church on a regular basis; must come to live in a certain home or shelter whether ready to or not) such as cook-outs, trips to pizza parlors, holiday celebration gatherings, etc.
For those young people who are tired of living out in the elements, we need families who will take them in and treat them like visiting cousins. One church in particular has been organizing something like this with a lot of success.
As soon as we have the funding for it, one of our dreams is to create places like camps and ranches where our young people can live safely and with respect (We, obviously, have zero tolerance for the boot-camp kind of experience, even though we also have some rules such as ones concerning fighting and substance abuse) while taking whatever amount of time they need to get back into the mainstream.
Obviously, IYN is unable to pursue this kind of project at this time, but the other kinds of things mentioned above ARE things that we can do now.
Russell has invested both time and money into our kids for many years, but there is only one of him.
A couple of the most wonderful birthday presents that you could give to him at this time is to increase the number of those who are active in helping our kids and to, if you're able, help him to get back into a situation where he can, once more, direct the happenings of IYN and doing what he was planning on doing right before this situation happened: handpicking reliable and caring people to share various responsibilities that he was once doing on his own, because he realizes that he can't do it all--and that he also must be prepared for the unexpected such as what has happened to him now.
Please keep Russell in your prayers, love, and positive thoughts--and, if you have any information on him, please contact me!
Friday, December 24, 2010
Sure & Unsure...
It is Christmas Eve 2010, and I'm now sure and unsure.
I'm not sure what the future is for Invisible Youth Network. Russell wants to take things in another direction. He told me that he will be revealing new plans in February (his estimate).
One thing that I am sure of is that there are several thousand young people in San Diego alone who are homeless.
Another thing I know for sure is that children and teens are getting bullied in school while it seems as if the faculty and staff just kinda nod and wink.
I know that there is something wrong with this picture, and something needs to be done.
What direction we're going with this in our organization is still up in the air at this time, so all I can tell you is to stay tuned...
I'm not sure what the future is for Invisible Youth Network. Russell wants to take things in another direction. He told me that he will be revealing new plans in February (his estimate).
One thing that I am sure of is that there are several thousand young people in San Diego alone who are homeless.
Another thing I know for sure is that children and teens are getting bullied in school while it seems as if the faculty and staff just kinda nod and wink.
I know that there is something wrong with this picture, and something needs to be done.
What direction we're going with this in our organization is still up in the air at this time, so all I can tell you is to stay tuned...
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Invitation Sent!!! 9/11/10
Below, find a copy of an invitation I've just sent to friends on my Care2 list who aren't yet members of the representative group for IYN there. Just recently, Russell made a post at said group that conveyed the message that we're marching forward with our mission and are ISO people who are willing and serious about helping us to help our kids.
Scroll on down to read what I've written as an invitation to do so...
Our army is totally-volunteer,
and we don't rely on violent weapons
in our quest of winning a very important war.
and we don't rely on violent weapons
in our quest of winning a very important war.
Remember how--nine years ago today--so many people were MORE than willing to go onto foreign soil to fight against unspeakable acts of violence that had occurred earlier that morning in New York City, near Washington, D.C., and over some farmland in Pennsylvania?
Are we at least as willing to fight another kind of war right on our very own soil--this time, a war that doesn't involve the spilling of blood but, instead, the extending of hands so that over 1.5 million young people in our country alone might be able to get the help they need to get off the streets.
Not only that, but we also need to implement weapons of prevention so that our invisible youth will have a strong voice against things like abuse (physical, emotional, sexual) going on right in their own homes, bullying at school, and poverty that end up driving them to leave behind their homes and communities in the first place.
Our representative group at Care2 isn't a place for sharing recipes (and such will be removed if posted). However, it might be a place to get inspired to make our recipes to sell at fundraising bake sales and/or directly feed homeless youth.
Please join us in order to become more and more inspired to take action and make this tragic problem history p.d.q.
Yours In The Quest--
Ainsley Jo Phillips
Advisor & Consultant
Invisible Youth Network
Thursday, April 8, 2010
This Is NOT The Time For Procrastination!!!
Sometimes, I think that the word, procrastination, was coined with me in mind.
However, I DO have an excuse for procrastinating: I have so many things going on that they all have to take a number and wait. This means that some things get done promptly, while other things get done not quite so promptly--or not promptly at all. When certain things get done later than sooner, I'm seen by others (and even myself) as procrastinating.
What I'm talking about in this blog-entry is one of those things where there should be no procrastination if at all possible and, if not, as little as possible.
I want to tell you about what it's like living in my skin at this particular moment. It's the skin of a person living with lymphedema--and during one of those not-so-good times that I'm dealing with surface wounds from blistering. In order for these wounds to close before they become deep and infected, I'm having to spend more time in bed than on the computer at this time.
However, I believe that this is something that must be shared here before I can even think of getting back into bed.
In other words I mustn't procrastinate when it comes to sharing this very important message!!!
As I've just said, I know what it's like to live in the skin of somebody who deals with that chronic condition known as lymphedema--or, at least, I know what it's like for me. However, I don't know what it's like to live in the skin of a child-abuser. However, there seems to be plenty of people who have or do live in these skins. I'm also blessed to have never lived within the skin of an abused child--except for on three occasions that I can think of, and none of the abuse came from family members.
Here are those three times:
(1) Hit hard on the top of the head by one teacher when I was four years old.
(2) Hit hard on the top of the head by another teacher when I was nine or ten years old.
(3) Forced (by two teachers) to participate in that dreadful game known as Red Rover.
A little later down the page, I'm going to share a video--and let me warn you that most of the pictures are pretty graphic. They would make my three personal cases of child-abuse look pretty petty in comparison.
However, let me state here that my three cases of child-abuse were neither petty nor trivial.
No child should think "I was only tasered by a cop when I was throwing a tantrum, but it could have been worse, so I have no right to complain."
No child-abuse should be trivialized. No child should be told to suck it up.
Some people think that the solution to stop child-abuse is stiffer prison sentences. There are even some of the "some people" who would like to see the death penalty (which I personally oppose 100% of the time) be a possibility.
While I think that there are people who have gone so far downhill that they need to be restrained in order to keep the rest of society safe, I don't really think in terms of punishment for the sake of punishment--that is, to separate the "good" people from the "bad" people. I'm more interested in making bad behavior stop than I am in the punishment mindset.
Although there will, likely, always be a need to keep some people separated from mainstream society, I think our prisons are far too full of people who have been sent there when problems would have better been solved by resources that didn't involve incarceration.
First, however, we have got to encourage people to take advantage of those resources when they need to.
Here is a favorite resource of mine: Parents Anonymous
Parents who join a local group of this organization get the kind of help they need when it comes to coping with parenthood.
Sounds like a great deal--so, why aren't more child-abusers showing up to take advantage of this?
Simple!
They aren't ready to see themselves as failures when it comes to parenting--and they shouldn't have to!
If they were to go to Parents Anonymous meetings, they wouldn't find a bunch of failures there. Nobody in that organization is interested in finger-pointing, and they don't see these parents as failures or "bad" people.
Most parents don't want to be "bad" people or failures. None of us (parents or not) want to be bad people or failures.
The parents who don't take advantage of organizations like Parents Anonymous when they either feel as if they're about to lose it or else already have are the ones who don't want to have to face the facts that they are bad and/or failures (their own perception of themselves helped along by our judgmental society), so they think, I'll do better next time. However, they end up doing worse, and, now, they're really ashamed.
Instead, they need to think: I'm having these feelings, but that doesn't make me a bad person or a failure. However, I need to get help in coping before I do something to my kids that I'll really be sorry for.
If people would just understand that good people can do bad things, if they don't have the resources to help them through bad patches, they would be more willing to get professional help, and everybody would end up better for it.
April is Child-Abuse Awareness Month. However, we should be aware of this issue and doing what we can to make it stop 24/7 and 365.
If you're having trouble coping, please don't be hesitant to get help.
If you notice that a friend or family member is having trouble coping, do what you can to lighten their load, and show them this page.
When encouraging another person to seek help, talk to them as an equal instead of placing yourself high above them and looking down on them.
You might not have "been there" yourself, but imagine what it would be like to be so overwhelmed that you're ready to take it out on anything that's handy from the cat to the crying baby. If you were to find yourself feeling that way, how would you feel? Likely, that's how the person who's actually feeling that way is feeling.
If we were quicker to extend hands than to point fingers, I believe a lot of child-abuse would never ever get around to happening--and, when it comes to child-abuse, that's an act we should procrastinate on indefinitely!
However, I DO have an excuse for procrastinating: I have so many things going on that they all have to take a number and wait. This means that some things get done promptly, while other things get done not quite so promptly--or not promptly at all. When certain things get done later than sooner, I'm seen by others (and even myself) as procrastinating.
What I'm talking about in this blog-entry is one of those things where there should be no procrastination if at all possible and, if not, as little as possible.
I want to tell you about what it's like living in my skin at this particular moment. It's the skin of a person living with lymphedema--and during one of those not-so-good times that I'm dealing with surface wounds from blistering. In order for these wounds to close before they become deep and infected, I'm having to spend more time in bed than on the computer at this time.
However, I believe that this is something that must be shared here before I can even think of getting back into bed.
In other words I mustn't procrastinate when it comes to sharing this very important message!!!
As I've just said, I know what it's like to live in the skin of somebody who deals with that chronic condition known as lymphedema--or, at least, I know what it's like for me. However, I don't know what it's like to live in the skin of a child-abuser. However, there seems to be plenty of people who have or do live in these skins. I'm also blessed to have never lived within the skin of an abused child--except for on three occasions that I can think of, and none of the abuse came from family members.
Here are those three times:
(1) Hit hard on the top of the head by one teacher when I was four years old.
(2) Hit hard on the top of the head by another teacher when I was nine or ten years old.
(3) Forced (by two teachers) to participate in that dreadful game known as Red Rover.
A little later down the page, I'm going to share a video--and let me warn you that most of the pictures are pretty graphic. They would make my three personal cases of child-abuse look pretty petty in comparison.
However, let me state here that my three cases of child-abuse were neither petty nor trivial.
No child should think "I was only tasered by a cop when I was throwing a tantrum, but it could have been worse, so I have no right to complain."
No child-abuse should be trivialized. No child should be told to suck it up.
Some people think that the solution to stop child-abuse is stiffer prison sentences. There are even some of the "some people" who would like to see the death penalty (which I personally oppose 100% of the time) be a possibility.
While I think that there are people who have gone so far downhill that they need to be restrained in order to keep the rest of society safe, I don't really think in terms of punishment for the sake of punishment--that is, to separate the "good" people from the "bad" people. I'm more interested in making bad behavior stop than I am in the punishment mindset.
Although there will, likely, always be a need to keep some people separated from mainstream society, I think our prisons are far too full of people who have been sent there when problems would have better been solved by resources that didn't involve incarceration.
First, however, we have got to encourage people to take advantage of those resources when they need to.
Here is a favorite resource of mine: Parents Anonymous
Parents who join a local group of this organization get the kind of help they need when it comes to coping with parenthood.
Sounds like a great deal--so, why aren't more child-abusers showing up to take advantage of this?
Simple!
They aren't ready to see themselves as failures when it comes to parenting--and they shouldn't have to!
If they were to go to Parents Anonymous meetings, they wouldn't find a bunch of failures there. Nobody in that organization is interested in finger-pointing, and they don't see these parents as failures or "bad" people.
Most parents don't want to be "bad" people or failures. None of us (parents or not) want to be bad people or failures.
The parents who don't take advantage of organizations like Parents Anonymous when they either feel as if they're about to lose it or else already have are the ones who don't want to have to face the facts that they are bad and/or failures (their own perception of themselves helped along by our judgmental society), so they think, I'll do better next time. However, they end up doing worse, and, now, they're really ashamed.
Instead, they need to think: I'm having these feelings, but that doesn't make me a bad person or a failure. However, I need to get help in coping before I do something to my kids that I'll really be sorry for.
If people would just understand that good people can do bad things, if they don't have the resources to help them through bad patches, they would be more willing to get professional help, and everybody would end up better for it.
April is Child-Abuse Awareness Month. However, we should be aware of this issue and doing what we can to make it stop 24/7 and 365.
If you're having trouble coping, please don't be hesitant to get help.
If you notice that a friend or family member is having trouble coping, do what you can to lighten their load, and show them this page.
When encouraging another person to seek help, talk to them as an equal instead of placing yourself high above them and looking down on them.
You might not have "been there" yourself, but imagine what it would be like to be so overwhelmed that you're ready to take it out on anything that's handy from the cat to the crying baby. If you were to find yourself feeling that way, how would you feel? Likely, that's how the person who's actually feeling that way is feeling.
If we were quicker to extend hands than to point fingers, I believe a lot of child-abuse would never ever get around to happening--and, when it comes to child-abuse, that's an act we should procrastinate on indefinitely!
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Our Sick Society--And What Is Being/Can Be Done About It. . .
Russell wrote:
Everytime I watch the news there are reports of children being murdered by their parents, child abuse, children being molested by school faculty, children being shot down on the streets and children being abducted on their way to or from school.
And much more!
What kind of sick society have we become?
If you feel so angry/frustrated/tense that you feel that there's even the slightest chance that you might take it out on your child or a child in your care, please contact Parents Anonymous or (if there isn't one in your area) a similar group that will help you through this rough patch in a sympathetic, non-judgmental way.
Even if you have already lost control and have taken/are taking your issues out on your child/child in your care, don't hesitate to seek help before the situation gets really out-of-hand. There is no shame in letting people know that you need help.
If you or anyone you know have never dealt with issues like these before, consider yourselves to be fortunate and do more than point fingers at those who do. The ills of society will be better solved through the use of extended hands instead of pointing fingers.
We need places for our kids to go and enjoy constructive activities as opposed to being left to their own resources and getting mixed up with gangs.
We need for school to be a safe and positive experience for our kids instead of one of fear, discomfort, and hurt feelings.
We need for our kids to believe--and rightly so--that there are trustworthy people to turn to and that these people will truly listen to what they have to say and do their best to offer them solutions.
We also need for troubled adults (people of any age, in fact) to know that it's okay to ask for help when dealing with negative, antisocial emotions--and we need to make sure that there are places out there where they can turn and know that they will be seen/treated as people with issues that they need help in solving instead of being seen as "bad" people.
I've said many times, and I'll say it again that it's good to imagine that you have two grown children who are both loved dearly, unconditionally, and in equal measure by you. One is the victim of a terrible crime, and the other one has committed a terrible crime. Think about what outcome you would want for each of them, and you will be well on your way to designing a society that offers real solutions to the problems we face.
Put your prayers, love, positive thoughts, time, money, and good words behind organizations such as Parents Anonymous, Invisible Youth Network, Operation Respect, Boys & Girls Clubs Of America, and others that are offering positive and empowering solutions to a troubled world!
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